Bring my Josie back...

The last 4 days have been brutal. I want my happy Josie back. I haven't posted about night terrors or attachment issues in a long time, but it's rearing its ugly head again. I want THIS Josie back in my house.



We've had non-stop tantrums and crying fits that could wake the dead. It feels like our China experience all over again. We were out of town this weekend for my work and Josie never does well in hotel rooms. She was up each night crying out and screaming in her sleep. This morning, back in our own house, getting ready for daycare was just brutal. Picture screaming fits, rolling around on the floor, flying objects (shoes, sippy cups, toys..etc) and lots of slobbery tears and nose "stuff". It lasted for at least 30 minutes (which always scares me with her repaired heart). The same thing happened again this evening while driving Emma to religious education class. Something is up again. Sickness...maybe? Residual attachment stuff...maybe?

Josie, we love you. Come back.

National Adoption Awareness Month Part 7 (attachment issues)

Gotcha day March 16, 2008

Prior to traveling to China, I read everything I could get my hands on in regards to attachment and bonding issues. I prayed that her transition would go smoothly and that she would bond with me. I had read over and over again how initially children bond first with one parent and I selfishly hoped I would be the one. I was lucky. Almost as soon as her nannies left our hotel room and I was left to scoop Josie up in arms, she bonded with me.


Josie's bottle was her security blanket

Sure, there were all kinds of tears, but Josie looked to me for reassurance and comfort. It was love at first sight and my fears were quickly shelved. She took much longer to bond with Chris.


Gotcha Night March 16, 2008. Notice how Josie is cautiously looking at Chris

In fact, Chris was never able to hold her while we were in China. With all the screaming and tears we had at night and during our many plane rides around the country, he was never able to provide her with any kind of comfort. He felt frustrated, but was patient and was prepared to ride it out.

One of the best things I could have brought with me to China (besides Chris and Emma) was the baby carrier. She was strapped to me in the carrier the entire trip. Talk about bonding.


Tengwang Pavilion, Nanchang China

Even after we came home from China and were off to visit the many cardiologists and specialists, if she was throwing an absolute fit, if I put her in the carrier, she calmed right down. She's now too big for her carrier, but it was a life-saver during our first 3 months together.

Josie also bonded with her sister almost immediately. To this day (as you tell by the many pictures I post in my blog) Josie is absolutely in love with her big sister. She adores Emma. Almost to the point of obsession. I couldn't have asked for it to go any better than it has between the two girls. I'm so glad Emma came with us to China. That being said, we definitely have JEALOUSY issues that are overwhelming at times. That will be a whole other blog entry someday.

Emma playing with Josie in Nanchang, China

When my family medical leave ended and I went back to work, Chris took over as primary caregiver during the day. Thankfully, Chris works at a school he was now home for the summer. Being the primary care giver changed the attachment relationship between Josie and Chris dramatically. She started to equally seek comfort between Chris and myself and looks to either of us for reassurance and assistance.



I can't tell you how much I melt all over when I hear Josie say "Mommy, I wuv you" or I hear her scream with delight with Chris comes home from running an errand. We are blessed, so very very blessed. This whole adoption experience has far exceeded anything I could have ever imagined. My heart is so full of love for this sweet girl.


March 17, 2008 Civil Affairs Office, Nanchang China

Along the bottom of this blog are a list of some of my favorite attachment websites. The constant researcher in me, can't stop reading or exploring this topic. If anyone has anything else that would like to share on this topic (websites, books or personal experiences), feel free to post. I love hearing from you.