Josie's Adoption Story

Today, we celebrate our 4 years of becoming a family of four.

March 16th is officially Josie's
adoption anniversary!!

A big sister at last!

For most of my blogging friends, you would assume that Josie's always been with us, but that wasn't always the case.

I've been thinking it's time to share our story again....

In February of 2006 (after several failed attempts at working with fertility specialists) we decided to pursue international adoption with China. 1 year passes and we had been logged in with our agency and the CCAA and I was tired of waiting for my daughter. The disappointment of not being matched with waiting special needs children with our agency nearly puts me over the edge (I was not a happy person at home...the migranes and the stress are nearly unbearable). So, I decided to take matters in my own hands.

On July 31, 2007, I found our Josie on a waiting child list with a different agency than the one we were currently involved with. I was determined (obsessed) to find my daughter.


Without Chris even knowing, I contacted this new agency and asked to see Josie’s medical files. The social worker agreed that they would work with us, but there was a family currently interested in this child.

We were second in line.

If the family decided against her, we would have the opportunity to put our letter of intention in motion. I said a few prayers and started researching her heart condition.

Just look at her referral picture.
I knew she was our daughter
the moment I laid eyes on her.

I just needed to convince my husband that this little girl was worth the risk. If we pursued her, we’d be starting over. That meant, pulling our files with our current agency, resubmitting them with our new agency, getting a new login date, paying new fees (in essence starting completely over).

Orphanage picture

I had knots in my stomach worrying about the whole thing falling apart, but I was ready to take the risk.

Josie is in the blue coat

It didn’t take Chris long to agree that she was worth it. We contacted our local Children’s Hospital to have her medical files reviewed. Her condition (Tetralogy of Fallot) was treatable, but she definitely needed heart surgery as soon as possible.

She had surgery 3 weeks
after we came home from China

In addition to a heart condition, she also had an extra thumb on her right hand.

We then contacted Chris’s medical insurance to make sure her treatments would be covered. Good news. Her medical needs would be covered. Now, we just needed the green-light from this new adoption agency that she was really available.

It was longest five days of my life.

Finally, we were told that the other family was not going to pursue her. This family has since become very close friends to our family and we spent some wonderful time together in the summer of 2010 (see pic below). God works in mysterious and wonderful ways.

We were told she was our daughter, if we were interested. Are you kidding? YES! Close her file to anyone else!!! From that point on, we had our work cut out for us.

Josie is on the far right

We needed to write a letter to our current agency asking them to release our dossier from the CCAA so that it could be resubmitted with our new agency. We also needed to update our dossier with all kinds of paperwork that would soon be expiring. Chris spent the last month of his summer break running errands, meeting with our new social worker to update our homestudy and driving to our capital office across the state to get the new paperwork sealed.

Josie's bath at the orphanage

I won’t bore you with the paperwork timeline, but it took seven months from start to finish to have Josie in our arms after switching adoption agencies.

Sightseeing in Nanchang China

Gotcha Night
March 16, 2008.
Notice how Josie is cautiously looking at Chris.



The entire time we were in China,
I was the only one who could hold her.
Tengwang Pavilion, Nanchang China

We knew while in China, Josie was going to require medical attention as soon as we were home. The simplest of activities (even eating or bending over) caused her to pant and become short of breath. Her lips and toes would often turn blue. Sleeping was less than a pleasant experience…picture constant spinning around in MY BED (cosleeping was a matter of survival) and crying out all night long. Chris often referred to her as our little clock. At nearly 22 months old, she wore 9 month clothes.

Despite our medical concerns with Josie,

she bonded with her sister immediately.

Emma playing with Josie in Nanchang, China

As you know from previous blog posts, both Josie's heart and hand surgeries were successful.





She will need additional heart surgery in her future, but she is a happy healthy little girl who loves life to the fullest.

I think we all believe she really
does have superhero powers!

I'll leave you with a very short video
that Josie asked me to take of her singing.

Happy 4 years, Josie!

Just in case you're interested,
here's the video of Josie meeting us
for the first time in China.



We love you to the moon and back, Josie!

XOXO

♥

China Ghosts

My patient husband is trying to put down a crying Josie who refuses to give into sleep, while Emma and I are spending some quiet time reading in my bed. I just finished another fantastic book, China Ghosts: My Daughter’s Journey to America, My Passage to Fatherhood by Jeff Gammage. One of my favorite sentences in his book is from the epilogue, “Adopting a child from China puts you through a transformation, gathering you up from one place, spinning you around, then setting you down somewhere else, facing backward. It changes your life in ways you never could have foreseen.” (page 237).



Josie’s adoption is an emotional journey of extremes. It's a place where utter joy is paired with sheer exhaustion on a daily basis. Here’s a child who can smother me with kisses/hugs and then wake up screaming in fear hours later. It’s not anything I could have prepared for prior to our adoption. It’s just something that I'm continuing to work through. It’s made Chris and I stronger and better parents. Connecting with other adoptive mothers, and my blogging support group is what saves me on a daily basis. I also appreciate how my coworkers continue to be sympathetic to my sleep deprivation and ongoing Josie stories.

Chris and I recently met with our social worker to compile information for our six month post-placement report. In preparation for our meeting, we had a list of questions that needed to be answered. It gave us an opportunity to sit down and reflect about the last five months as a family of four. It’s been a whirlwind of activities, emotions and milestones. We both came to the same conclusion. If we were younger, and the adoption process wasn't so long, we’d adopt another child with a medical condition. It’s been a life-altering experience and we are more enriched because of it.

People often tell us that Josie is so blessed to be a part of our family. Chris and I both quick to respond that Josie has blessed us more than we could have ever expected. Now, if we could only get her to sleep through the night and understand that daycare is actually a good thing, life would be GRAND in the Kenward household.

Reflections

Over this past week (especially since reading Silent Tears) I have found my mind wandering back to Josie’s orphanage and Josie’s birth mother. I’ve recently made contact with our guide in China and asked her to tell the orphanage nannies that Josie has undergone her open-heart surgery and is now healthy. Our guide reassured me that she did make contact and they were pleased to know this information. I want to believe it matters to them, but I don’t know. More than anything, I felt like I needed closure on that part of Josie’s life.




We will never have contact with Josie’s birth mother, but I wish I could tell her so many things. I want to tell her that her child is alive and her child is deeply loved by so many people. She is now healthy and strong and smart and beautiful. She’s more than anyone could ever want and our family is now complete.

Silent Tears

I've never written a book review before, but this morning I posted a review on Amazon's website for Silent Tears: A Journey of Hope in A Chinese Orphanage. When I came home from work yesterday, the book was with the mail. As soon as I put my daughters to bed, I tore into it. At 1:30am, my husband wondered why our light was still on. I couldn't stop reading. My own silent tears flowed down my cheeks all night long. Kay Bratt is an amazing writer. This is a must read for parents adopting from China. I now have a much better understanding on some of the behavior that Josie displayed when she first came to our family. I'm so proud to be her mother. She is an amazingly resilient child and we are so blessed to have had the opportunity to adopt her.

Happy 3 Months since Surgery

It’s been three months since Josie’s open-heart surgery for Tetralogy of Fallot. The change is amazing. No more blue toes, blue fingers and blue lips. No more squatting to relieve the pressure on her heart. No more flushed cheeks or heavy sweating. No more excessive breathing or panting during physical activity.

Watching her go through surgery only three weeks after we were home from China was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. She was a frightened little girl who didn’t understand what was going on and there was very little anyone could do to reassure her. Our family can’t thank the expertise of the Mott Children’s Hospital enough. We now have a happy healthy two year old that is catching up on all the physical limitations she experienced the first twenty months of her life.

Happy three months, Josie!