1 year ago...

On March 26, 2008, we stepped off the plane at the Grand Rapids, MI airport and were finally HOME! It had been a wicked 28 hours of travel. Josie had screamed and cried during most of our very long painful flight. In her rages, she would grab her face and scratch herself. Right before we boarded our final plane she scratched herself so bad, it looked like she had kitty whiskers on her cheeks. We are convinced that her unrepaired heart condition and the pressure of the plane made her uncomfortable and very miserable. She had been a beast on all our other short plane travels while we were in China. I had always assumed we'd have the fairytale return home like the other adoptive families I had followed. Nope. Josie had other ideas.



In Beijing we had upgraded our flight to business class and little did those businessmen know what they were in for. By the time we got off the plane in Chicago to go through Immigration, we are convinced they were cursing at us in Chinese.



At that point in our journey, Josie would not let Chris hold or comfort her and I was exhausted. She maybe slept a total of one hour the entire time we were on the plane and only in short bursts before she'd wake up screaming. I had Josie strapped to me most of those 28 hours (including potty breaks in the plane and various airport terminals). I'll never forget Emma asking me in Chicago (as we were waiting in the Immigration line) if I had any makeup in my purse because I looked awful. I honestly felt as awful as I looked. It was a good thing we had discouraged friends and our Detroit family members from meeting us at the GR airport because it was not a pleasant homecoming.



Praise GOD that's all a distant memory. Josie can still be a strong-willed child, but she's NOW HEALTHY, well adjusted and for the most part, very very happy. I'm so glad all her invasive medical procedures are behind us now.



I'll always look fondly at our time in China and I can't wait to take Josie back someday. What an amazing year we've had together.



I still can't believe Josie has been on U.S. soil for a year now. Welcome home, Josie Kenward. Welcome home...

Shopping in China - MUST HAVE items

I'm on a roll with "must have" reflection posts. As much as I was anxious for Josie, I was equally excited to do some serious shopping while in China. I loathed the bartering, but Chris was the master of negotiations and we came home with some really lovely acquisitions. I should mention, that we never made it to the alley with the knock-off purses, sunglasses or designer clothes, but I'm so pleased with the special items that we did bring home from Josie's country.

Here are a few of my favorite purchases in China:


Nanchang is know for its porcelain and I just love this hand-painted tea set. Both Emma and Josie also picked out smaller tea sets as well as several vases and hinged boxes. The prices were a steal (my large tea set was around $35). If we would have had more room, I would have bought more tea sets for relatives and friends. The hinged boxes and vases ranged between $3 - $7. These same items were so much more money in Guangzhou.


Chris's chess set


Chris purchased two different chess sets while in China. One set he has at his school and one set is at home. They are made of ox bone and the carving on each piece is simply amazing. The price was an absolute steal. He paid $26 for his larger set. If it wasn't so big and heavy, he would have bought additional sets for friends. Chris bought his chess sets in Guangzhou.



Several stores in Guangzhou offer a service of doing reverse painting inside glass bottles. You can drop off a picture and then within 24 hours, you can pick up your painted bottle with the image painted inside. The only picture we had already developed of Josie was her identification card from her orphanage. Her bottle doesn't really reflect what she looked like at the time, but it's priceless. Emma's picture is very close to the school picture that we had in our wallets. We were so pleased with these purchases. They are such keepsakes.

I remember seeing my friend Steffie's daughter wearing a tiger hat while they were in China and I was on a mission to find one for Josie. The tiger hat is a traditional baby gift in China. The tiger is believed to protect the child from bad spirits and bring good luck. Our guide later told us that typically only boys wear these type of hats. Oh well. We thought she looked pretty darn cute in it.


I bought the girls several matching outfits in China and even bought Josie's baptismal dress. I'm so glad I bought several different sizes so that Josie can continue to wear them through the upcoming years. The prices are so low in Guangzhou for these type of outfits. The outfits cost around $5 or less. Some outfits were a bit pricier, but well worth it. While in Nanchang, our guide kept telling us to wait on purchasing shoes and outfits until we got to Guangzhou, and I'm glad we waited. She was right, the prices were half the cost as what we were looking at in Josie's province.




We bought the girls each big beautiful paper kites in Beijing. They weren't easy to pack in our luggage, but we never saw them in Nanchang or Guangzhou and I'm glad we bought them in Beijing. The kites cost about $5 and the detail work is amazing.

"A Gift From China", Guangzhou's First Charity Store has different items than most of the stores in Guangzhou. The items are a little more money, but better quality. One of my adoptive friends (thanks Cindy) told me about the dolls from this store and I couldn't resist buying each girl a set of mother/daughter dolls.


Our guide took us to the pearl market in Guangzhou to buy our pearls. I'd love to say our shopping experience was a lovely one, but Josie was an absolute terror while we were in the store. Chris ended up picking out all our jewelry (while I paced with her outside in her baby carrier). He did a wonderful job at negotiating and picking out several beautiful pieces. I can't say it enough...buy, buy, BUY. The prices are so inexpensive and earrings make great gifts for friends and relatives.

For my readers who are about to travel to China, I'm sure they would LOVE to hear from other adoptive families regarding their favorite shopping adventures and China acquisitions. I can't wait to read your suggestions. It makes me want to go back and shop, shop, SHOP!! Thanks, friends!!

China Ghosts

My patient husband is trying to put down a crying Josie who refuses to give into sleep, while Emma and I are spending some quiet time reading in my bed. I just finished another fantastic book, China Ghosts: My Daughter’s Journey to America, My Passage to Fatherhood by Jeff Gammage. One of my favorite sentences in his book is from the epilogue, “Adopting a child from China puts you through a transformation, gathering you up from one place, spinning you around, then setting you down somewhere else, facing backward. It changes your life in ways you never could have foreseen.” (page 237).



Josie’s adoption is an emotional journey of extremes. It's a place where utter joy is paired with sheer exhaustion on a daily basis. Here’s a child who can smother me with kisses/hugs and then wake up screaming in fear hours later. It’s not anything I could have prepared for prior to our adoption. It’s just something that I'm continuing to work through. It’s made Chris and I stronger and better parents. Connecting with other adoptive mothers, and my blogging support group is what saves me on a daily basis. I also appreciate how my coworkers continue to be sympathetic to my sleep deprivation and ongoing Josie stories.

Chris and I recently met with our social worker to compile information for our six month post-placement report. In preparation for our meeting, we had a list of questions that needed to be answered. It gave us an opportunity to sit down and reflect about the last five months as a family of four. It’s been a whirlwind of activities, emotions and milestones. We both came to the same conclusion. If we were younger, and the adoption process wasn't so long, we’d adopt another child with a medical condition. It’s been a life-altering experience and we are more enriched because of it.

People often tell us that Josie is so blessed to be a part of our family. Chris and I both quick to respond that Josie has blessed us more than we could have ever expected. Now, if we could only get her to sleep through the night and understand that daycare is actually a good thing, life would be GRAND in the Kenward household.

5 month sister anniversary

As of August 16th, Emma has officially been a big sister for five months. Although we have our moments of jealousy and frustration, the girls adore each other. The age difference is far bigger than Chris and I ever wanted, but we couldn't be more in love with our girls'.

In honor of our five month Josie day, I've gone through some of my favorite sister pictures from our China trip and compiled a very short video of the girls taken our first 24 hours after we received Josie.


Emma helping feed Josie on our first night together

Nanchang Day 2 with Josie

Nanchang Day 3 with Josie

Playing with dolls in our White Swan Hotel room

Sneaking in a kiss at the White Swan Hotel breakfast buffet

Navigating stairs with Josie at the White Swan Hotel


Every night before bed, Emma insists on "one more kiss" which turns into "several more kisses" on her sister's head. It just melts my heart watching this bedtime ritual. Happy five months, Josephine Xue Kenward!

Reflections

Over this past week (especially since reading Silent Tears) I have found my mind wandering back to Josie’s orphanage and Josie’s birth mother. I’ve recently made contact with our guide in China and asked her to tell the orphanage nannies that Josie has undergone her open-heart surgery and is now healthy. Our guide reassured me that she did make contact and they were pleased to know this information. I want to believe it matters to them, but I don’t know. More than anything, I felt like I needed closure on that part of Josie’s life.




We will never have contact with Josie’s birth mother, but I wish I could tell her so many things. I want to tell her that her child is alive and her child is deeply loved by so many people. She is now healthy and strong and smart and beautiful. She’s more than anyone could ever want and our family is now complete.

Olympic Celebrations

The opening ceremonies were shown this evening. What a proud moment for the People’s Republic of China to share friendship and celebration with the world. Enjoy the olympics, everyone. Let the games BEGIN!

Silent Tears

I've never written a book review before, but this morning I posted a review on Amazon's website for Silent Tears: A Journey of Hope in A Chinese Orphanage. When I came home from work yesterday, the book was with the mail. As soon as I put my daughters to bed, I tore into it. At 1:30am, my husband wondered why our light was still on. I couldn't stop reading. My own silent tears flowed down my cheeks all night long. Kay Bratt is an amazing writer. This is a must read for parents adopting from China. I now have a much better understanding on some of the behavior that Josie displayed when she first came to our family. I'm so proud to be her mother. She is an amazingly resilient child and we are so blessed to have had the opportunity to adopt her.

Happy 3 Months since Surgery

It’s been three months since Josie’s open-heart surgery for Tetralogy of Fallot. The change is amazing. No more blue toes, blue fingers and blue lips. No more squatting to relieve the pressure on her heart. No more flushed cheeks or heavy sweating. No more excessive breathing or panting during physical activity.

Watching her go through surgery only three weeks after we were home from China was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. She was a frightened little girl who didn’t understand what was going on and there was very little anyone could do to reassure her. Our family can’t thank the expertise of the Mott Children’s Hospital enough. We now have a happy healthy two year old that is catching up on all the physical limitations she experienced the first twenty months of her life.

Happy three months, Josie!

3 Months with Josie

I put together a collection of video clips highlighting our nearly three months together. Just seeing the love between my two daughters is absolutely amazing and it takes my breath away at times.

Happy "almost" 3 months, Josie. We love you very much.